Egypt: Where do I start?

Once again, this blog has gone silent. It's not for a lack of things to post about, it's a lack of time to process everything we've seen and done in these last few months and to find the time to put all those feelings and experiences into words. So I've got a lot of catching up to do. Let's start waaay back in the December: Christmas break.

I'm not sure where to begin with our impression of Egypt. Friends and family that have travelled there before have given it rave reviews. You see Egypt in the movies and it is exotic and bustling, but all those movies are set in the '30s or the time of Lawrence of Arabia. I honestly expected Egypt to be more of what we have grown accustomed to in Saudi Arabia or Kuwait: a little modern, just dusty.

I could not have been more wrong!

It is a lot like the rest of the Middle East in that there is Arabic, mosques, and hijabs everywhere. But it was totally different than the Middle East that we live in because of the stark lack of luxury. Egypt was a lot more Third World than I expected, but I found it kind of refreshing. I walked away intrigued, and I definitely want to go back. I want to plop myself in places around the country and just watch. The whole country was a curiosity to me. I loved it.

The Mister, not so much.

He doesn't like crowds, and Egypt specializes in crowds. Especially in Cairo. The traffic and overcrowding in Cairo was astounding. Tyler said Egypt was like a training session for a trip to India. It felt that crowded.

Here are some of the funny things we saw in Cairo that you just don't see anywhere else in the Middle East:

The Pyramids

Alright, so It's not funny so much as AMAZING, but I had to include a few photos of the Pyramids. Duh. This was our view out our hotel window on the first morning in Egypt. It was foggy. Maybe it was smog. It's unclear.

 We stayed at the Guardian Guest House in Cairo and it was AWESOME! It's not a luxury hotel by any stretch--it's really just a step above a hostel--but it was tied for first as my favorite hotel on our whole trip. The hotel has an unobstructed view of the Pyramids from every window and a rooftop that looks out onto the Pyramids and the Sphinx. I seriously could have sat on that roof every day of our two week vacation and been a happy girl. I cannot recommend the tour company we used, Real Egypt, enough. Samir, the owner, made our vacation amazing and found these little hotels for us that I never would have known about otherwise.

The Sprawl

This is not a photo from 1985 that I found on a Google image search. This is from our vacation in 2014, and most of the cars we saw were rocking the pre-90s look.

According to our tour guides, since the revolution, Cairo has exploded. The city was already the biggest in Egypt before 2011, but after the fall of the government, unregulated building boomed and farmland that used to surround Giza has now turned into unfinished high rises. Apparently you only start to pay tax on your property after the construction is complete, so landlords are just not finishing their buildings while renting out crummy apartments on what used to be a small tract of farm land.

I loved that if you got high enough up in the city, you could always see the Pyramids. I was glad to see that Egyptians were respecting that old no obstructed views ordinance of days or yore.

Side streets with awesomeness

Anthony Bourdain ate at this restaurant. Tyler was super excited.

Ok, to be fair, all major cities have cute side streets with awesomeness, but Cairo's character was especially great. 

I really wanted to go in.

Animals in front of carts...or sometimes on them.

I can only assume this poor guy was on his way to the butcher. Also: Letting your child ride your dead camel to ...uh... anywhere? Apparently that's a thing in Egypt. 

It was not unusual to see donkey-drawn carts on the major highways as well as the small side streets throughout the city of Cairo. Well, mainly on the outer edges, not so much on the deep downtown. It was still unexpected.

People. Everywhere.

Gotta get somewhere? Walk your way in the opposite direction of traffic up the highway exit ramp while texting on your way to meet your taxi bus that is parked ON THE SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY at an unofficial taxi stand/bus stop/place to get into strangers' cars. 

And while you are on your walk up the exit ramp, stop and the makeshift convenience store that is literally propped up against the concrete barrier on the side of the road. 

Pigeon Towers

Pigeoning is a popular hobby in Egypt, especially in Cairo. It was pretty cool, actually. Guys raise their pigeons on these towers on the roofs of their apartments buildings and train them to fly around the city and...do tricks? I'm not certain of that last part, but I did see lots of young men on these towers waving flags and flocks of pigeons flying toward them--ok that sounds totally lame but I promise it looked cool in person.


Moral of the story: I really enjoyed Cairo. Even though it was incredibly polluted and covered in litter, I found the whole city intriguing.

Vicariously yours,

First World Problems: Amber's 12 steps to summer vacation survival

Again, in the spirit of vicariosity (the word is happening, people. Work it into your vocabulary), I write this post about the summer the Mister and I are very much looking forward to this year. I realize that not everyone is a teacher and has the convenience of having a summer break, but it's not as carefree and easy as those in the corporate world think it is.  Here are the steps to planning an international teacher's summer vacation:

Step 1: In October, after receiving first paycheck since June, start setting aside about $1,000 per month to help pay for fun times to be had the following summer.

Step 2: On the flight home from Christmas vacation, start to feel the longing for Granny's country ham and drivers that obey speed limit laws. Start the conversation about what to do when home this summer. Make a list of family members that must be visited and triangulate their locations with close friends in the area that could also be visited without paying for another flight.

Step 3: In January, start contacting friends and family, claiming dibs on a weekend here or a dinner date there. Start investigating airbnb properties, realize you're still a teacher, not Kanye, and increase amount of money set aside to about $1,800 per month. Yeesus, travel is expensive these days!

Throughout this process, confirm dates with all involved and map out the most amazing route of travel that will incorporate friends, family, affordability, and anniversary celebration. Each outing will be based around regions of the country so as to maximize on savings and prevent cross-country flights or road trips.

Step 4: In February, notify the school travel office about preferred dates of travel to and from your country of origin. Once dates are confirmed, make appointments with doctors and hairstylists.

At the same time, receive an email from friends or family. Life has happened and the previously-agreed-upon dates no longer work. Scrap the summer calendar and start over again.

Step 5: In March, increase amount and frequency of tutoring gigs and funnel all extra funds into summer savings. Pray that final exam season will be lucrative because those flights aren't getting any cheaper!

Step 6: After spring break (and likely a few dips into the summer savings fund because those culturally unique souvenirs ain't free!), renew your relationship with your college friends PB&J and Ramen in an effort to recoup losses to summer savings and make up for not buying summer air travel when the fares were still really cheap.

Step 7: Sign up for a new frequent flyer/traveler rewards program and justify all the costs of rental cars and regional air travel by telling yourself that you will use the miles/points towards a SWEET first class--ok, business class--ok, economy plus flight to a fabulous destination one day. And by "fabulous destination," you mean "a cheap flight to Bahrain for a weekend." You can practically feel the leg room now.

Step 8: Around May, when you're in the throes of agony that is the Last Four Weeks of School, binge book all remaining flights, lodging, and throw in a spontaneous trip to a theme park because AFTER A SEMESTER LIKE THIS YOU DESERVE IT, DAMMIT!

I mean...that's what some people do, I guess. 

Brag about it on facebook and enjoy the comments of "so jealous!" and "can't wait to see you!" from adoring friends and family.

Step 9: Immediately be crushed by the reality that you're still FOUR WEEKS AWAY from the freedom of summer and cry into your bowl of cold ramen leftovers.

Step 10: When summer finally arrives, gear yourself up for what will be a whirlwind 3 months of flying, rental cars,finding creative ways to "wash" your clothes after being in transit for 20 days straight, feeling guilty for not being able to afford to visit everyone, feeling guilty for only being in your home town for 29 of the 68 days you're on the continent, sleeping in strange beds, living out of suitcases, buying entirely too many teacher clothes, and ultimately going home with absolutely NOTHING in either of your bank accounts. Vow to stay in one place next summer, forcing everyone to come see you instead of schlepping yourself all over the country.

Step 11: Cry the entire way to your gate after being dropped off at the airport at the end of the summer. Question as to whether the tears are from homesickness, exhaustion, or from just being so dang tired of airports after the summer you've endured.

Step 12: On the flight home, remember how amazing it is to have the opportunity to go see all your loved ones during the summer AND get to travel to all the exotic locations during the school year that regular teachers just don't get to see. Repeat from step 1.

Budget busters to consider:

• Budget for all the toothbrushes you'll have to buy throughout the summer because your husband inevitably forgets his EVERYWHERE you go.
• Airline weight limits when tempted to stock up on curly hair products and haram cooking ingredients. Do you really need a 32 ounce bottle of vanilla extract?
• Two words: Summer. Sales.
• Two more words: Outlet. Malls.
• "Meeting up for a coffee" SOUNDS cheap enough, but meeting up for Starbucks more than once a week was not designed for a teacher's salary. 
• The cost of binge eating foods that cannot be enjoyed in your new home country will add up VERY quickly. Prioritize, and only hit the Chick-fil-a once...ok, once every road trip. Ok, alternate Chick-fil-a visits with Sonic happy hours and pat yourself on the back for the amount of restraint you have.

Vicariously yours,

The every day sights of Kuwait

In the spirit of vicariosity (it's a word. I just made it up.), I want to share photos with you of the world the Mister and I are surrounded by. These are not the romantic images of mosques bathed in the dramatic rays of the sunset, or the beautiful eyes of veiled women as they shop in a local market that looks like something out of Aladdin.

No. This is what the Middle East really looks like. These are the sights we experience every day and have become part of the background of our lives here.

Let's start with our walk to the grocery store:

As you can see, sidewalks aren't really a thing here. Well. There are sidewalks, but they're covered in cars. So this is how everyone has to walk from place to place in the countries like Kuwait and Saudi Arabia: down the middle of the road. I caught this side street at a rare moment without the packs of feral children that are usually roaming around on their bikes or playing a game of street soccer. 

On the rare occasion that there is a sidewalk, it is definitely not what most Westerners would expect. 

This is one of the main roads we walk along to get to the grocery store. This sidewalk is definitely not ADA compliant. You would think this would result in not many people walking here, but that's not really the case. There are always people out walking somewhere.

A constant sight in Kuwait: the orange dumpsters. And cats. I think it's kind of funny how the dumpsters are just hanging out, usually with their lids open and contents spilling out. At home, there are city ordinances about how to hide dumpsters so they don't become an eyesore. I wouldn't say that the dumpsters here are an eyesore...not after you get used to seeing them.

In the more residential neighborhoods, the houses have a normal size trash bin to use. I guess you could say we live in a residential area, though there don't appear to be zoning laws like we have in the States. The apartment building next door to us has a salon on the first floor occupying one of the apartments. Next door to that is a government office building that looks like it was originally built as an apartment building. But I digress...

Speaking of cats in abundance! 

This is the song I am frequently entertained by as I'm working in my classroom after school, especially in Kitten Season. They literally are all over this city. It's like a furry version of a jack-in-the-box as we walk around town and they are popping up out of the trash dumpsters. It's like Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats" out there. We actually do call one of the cats Mr. Mistoffelees. 

Then there's the construction. Kuwait is changing daily! As we look at the view out of our living room windows, we see a vast sea of high rises, houses, and construction cranes. It's nice to see all the progress and renewal. What's not nice to see is the extreme lack of safety precautions!!

This is the apartment building that is being built behind ours. Construction on it started at the end of November. It's almost finished. As you can see, they are working on the top floors, which means they need to haul a lot of cement up there. In the video is one of the construction workers riding a cement mixer up. No harness. That's not a hard hat on his head. Just him and the Lord taking a ride up in the sky. I'd be willing to bet he's wearing flip flops, too. That's not an uncommon sight with construction workers here.

I don't mean to try to take away the image that most people have of the Middle East, simply to show you some of our every day experiences. Please notice that there wasn't a single camel or bedouin tent in this entire post! While we do see those from time to time, we have to go searching for them. 

Vicariously yours,

What store are YOU going to?!

One of my students went to Nashville for the Christmas break! I told him I was so jealous he got to go to my hometown for Christmas. He sweetly broke the news to me as he was also informing me that he would be skipping the week of school before the break because "it takes a long time to fly to Nashville."

True story.

Anyway, he's back from his trip now, so today I was standing with him and a few other students as we were discussing our various vacations. He was telling me all about what he saw in Nashville and how much he loved it and how funny his family found it that there is a Lebanon, Tennessee (he is Lebanese). We were laughing at the funny way we pronounce Lebanon (it's said "Leb'nin" in Tennessee as opposed to "Leb-uh-non" in the Middle East) when another student said, "Nashville is in Tennessee, right?"

"Yep! That's right, " I answered.

"Tennessee... I always see that in the grocery store."

"You do?!"

"Yeah. It's on bottles with black labels."

He was talking about Jack Daniels!! I laughed and said, "Not at any grocery stores here, I hope!!"

He chuckled and said, "No. In Switzerland."

Switzerland. His family vacations there for the holidays...he's in sixth grade. This is my life, folks. Sometimes it overwhelms me how much I love it!

Vicariously yours,

Our trip to Paris: the most useful apps

This isn't a travel blog officially, but in the spirit of allowing you all to live vicariously through us and learn from our experiences, I want to let you know which of the many travel apps I downloaded turned out to be most useful for us on our Christmas trip to Paris.

Let's start with the most useful:

1. CityMaps2Go Pro  This was on AppsGoneFree a few weeks ago and I'm so glad I snagged it! They also have a free version. The pro version allows for unlimited map downloads, so it is necessary if you're planning to travel more than 3 or 4 times in the near future.

The best part of this app is that it is offline! You download the maps you'll need on your trip and it is all saved on your phone's memory.

You can zoom in almost to the street level and conduct searches for points of interest. When you find what you want, you can drop a pin on the map and take notes on it. I found our Paris apartment and marked it on the map before we arrived. It made things SO much easier. It also was handy when we were wandering around and saw something that made us go "Oh! We should remember to come here for dinner!"

You can use the location arrow in the bottom left to find your exact location in the city. Also clutch for when we came out of a Metro station and asked, "Where are we?" The guidebook, the icon second from the right, uses the Ulmon guidebooks to give you more information about what you're looking at. Very useful for those moments when you turn a corner and say, "Whoa! Wonder what that building is!"


2. Metro Paris Subway by Presselite   There are lots of Paris Metro apps out there, and this one isn't the most fancy looking, but it was the most useful. It uses your location services to tell you which stop you're currently at--though that's really best used when you're above ground, it became useful after we wandered for a while and said "Is there a metro stop nearby?".

It also tells you timetables (though those weren't always reliable. I think that's more the city of Paris's fault and not the app), and you can map out your route using the route feature on the far right.

Apps that were helpful, but not as great as I think the developers mean them to be, were the following:

1. TripAdvisor City Guides   I had troubles with this app before we left Kuwait, though I'm 100% sure  the problem was due to the slow internet/data speeds in this country. It took a few days for the Paris guide to download, and partly because the app pauses the download when your phone falls asleep. Not sure if that's something the developer can change or if it's just a side effect of living in a country with internet issues.

I love that this app is offline and the "Point Me There" feature was really great when we wanted to get to a recommended site. I found the map to not be as detailed as I needed it to be and the pop up "write a review" request every. time. you. open. the. app got really annoying really fast. I understand that the website runs on user reviews and you should give back to the website that is giving you this free app. I just wish that the reminder to leave a review only popped up every 5 times or something like that.

2. French-English translator by Sky Code   I even paid $.99 for this puppy thinking maybe it'll be more accurate than the free ones out there.

NOPE.

It sounded really cool because it has the option to take a photo of the text (for example, a menu) and get it translated, but the photo recognition was not great. It never could recognize the word "sur" and kept recognizing as "km" (for those playing the home game, "km" is not a word in French. I looked it up). This was not helpful for translating sentences from English to French. To test it out I wrote "We found the library" into the app and then we asked a French speaking friend to translate the same sentence. They came up with two completely different sentences.

The app was useful for one word at a time. When I was grocery shopping and couldn't remember the word for mushrooms or just straight up didn't know the word for other ingredients, my high school French got me through the first part of the sentence and the translator helped me fill in some of the blanks.


In the totally useless category goes this app:

HopStop  This app has rave reviews on the app store, including from people who traveled outside the US, but what the reviews don't tell you is that this app runs on data. And since I could not find anywhere that had SIM cards for an iPhone 5C (I know, #firstworldproblem), I didn't have data on this trip.

I'll pull this one back down from the cloud when I'm traveling in a major US city, but for Paris, the metro app already mentioned has a "from here to there" feature that made HopStop unnecessary.


Hopefully if any of you are heading to Paris any time soon, you'll download one or two of these apps and find them as helpful as I did!

Vicariously yours,

The things I do for these kids

I've got a reward system for my classroom that, in a round-about way, allows the kids to select from 4 different rewards: brownies, chew gum in class, eat snacks in class, or have a party during lunch. Being sixth-graders, the kids go for brownies as often as possible. I think it's mainly because they don't really understand what the other rewards entail, but whatever.

Anyway, I had a class that got the brownies reward right before the break, so the first day of the semester we started our morning with a healthy breakfast:

The kids are 1). blown away that I make my own food and 2). convinced that I make these brownies from scratch. One even said, "You have to give my nanny your recipe for brownies!" ...I got the recipe from my good friend Betty!

Since I cheat and use a brownie mix, you'd think this reward would be pretty straight forward and easy.

No.

This is Kuwait. Nothing is ever straightforward and easy, it seems! Let me take you through my baking adventure.

It start with lighting the oven, which is an adventure in and of itself.



It's always a gamble whether the gas is going to light. Sometimes it takes two or three matches and then you just hope you don't blow up the whole kitchen!

So while the oven is preheating, I throw together the mixes. It takes 4 bags of mix to make enough for 1 class to have 1 brownie each student. The bags are about 1.5KD per bag, which translates to about $21 each time a class earns this reward. Being that this is Kuwait, I could get brownies delivered in less time it takes for me to make them at home, but that costs about 16KD (~$57).

Kitty supervises the whole operation. 

Once the batter is poured, everything is ready to go into the oven. What we've discovered over here is that the oven doesn't heat evenly, so everything always burns super fast on the bottom, but stays almost raw on the top. Golden brown doesn't translate with this oven. Thankfully, a bake-aholic colleague figured out a fix.

Ew. I'm just seeing the disgusting layer of dust in the broiler. I don't even know how to go about cleaning that.

See the can on the bottom of the oven? It's filled up with water that boils as the oven gets hotter. The steam somewhat evens out the temperature in the oven so things cook a little more thoroughly. It's not fail proof, the bottom still cooks faster than the top. But the steam helps things along.

So you'd think I could just throw things in the oven, set a timer and be done, right?!

Wrong.

Because of the drain in the floor of our kitchen, the stove is a little slanted, which means the batter slowly moves to one side of the pan.

It's Kitty's favorite toy in the kitchen. It makes mopping the kitchen floor so much easier....for our cleaning lady.

I probably could shove some shims up under there and call it a day. But that would be logical and would require shims. So I throw things in the oven, and set a timer for 10 minutes. I make sure to put things in the oven before it is fully preheated because it gives things the chance to bake a little more slowly. Keeps the bottom from burning as quickly. I rotate the pans every 10 minutes for two 10-minute cycles or until I see the bottom and the edges have cooked through but the middle is still pretty soupy.

Then I turn the oven down to about 200 degrees and let it bake for another 10 minutes. After that the bottom is juuust about burned but the middle is still not done. So I turn the oven off completely and leave the brownies in for another 10 minutes. THEN they are ready to come out of the oven.

They're still pretty chewy, but it does the trick! The kids love the brownies and work really hard to earn the class reward. Teacher friends will attest, having a class reward the kids deem worthy of their good behavior is worth all the KD and baking time in the world!

Vicariously yours,

THATlou: the way for a non-Art History major to see the Louvre

At some point in our hunt for fun things to do in Paris, our friend Lindsey and I stumbled upon a company begun by a New York native called THATlou: treasure hunt at the Louvre. If you're the type of tourist that would feel like a fool going home from Paris having not seen the Louvre but you're just SO overwhelmed with the idea of trying to pick the best of the 35,000 pieces of art in that palatial museum, THATlou is perfect for you!

Basically you go on a scavenger hunt through the Louvre museum! Yes, you earn points, yes you compete against other teams, and YES there are prizes! This company was MADE for me!

We had an awesome time! Daisy, the owner of the company, has designed several hunts centered around various themes. You get about 2 hours to scour the Louvre to find and photograph the works of art. Don't worry, the big ones like the Mona Lisa are usually included or at least are along the search path. My only complaint is that 2 hours isn't long enough for competitive hunters like me who would want to stop and pretend to know something about art and observe some of the other pieces that you pass on the hunt.

Here are a few of the photographic highlights:

Our first conquest. It was also the one we heard the other teams saying they searched for the longest. Some of them couldn't find it! 

Strategizing. Tyler was our navigator and took the competition VERY seriously. 

One of the Big Pieces (ones that are highlighted by the Louvre as must sees): Psyche and Cupid.  I have no idea the artistic significance of this piece and I'm willing to bet 90% of the people surrounding the statue don't either. 

What I like about THATlou is it directs you to one of the Big Ones, and then you can choose to find a lesser-known piece of art in the same room as a Big One. See what Daisy's doing there? She's TRICKING you into looking at art! mwahaha!

Just like you can't go to Paris and not visit the Louvre, you can't visit the Louvre and not visit the Mona Lisa. ...She's there...behind the glass on the left. I was only able to get about 30 feet close to her. Sigh.

Another fun part of THATlou is the challenges that Daisy works in to the clues for bonus points. In this one we had to pose like the two dogs at the bottom of this massive painting. It was in the same room as the Mona Lisa, the most visited room in the Louvre. This photo is a little shaky because the Mister was horrified to be associated with these two crazies on the floor. 

We had to take a bathroom break and I think I accidentally caught one of the pieces of art on the hunt in the background! oops! haha!

The hunt led us to a little-visited room that overlooks the courtyard of the Louvre and gave us a view of the ridiculously long line to get in to one of the entrances! Another benefit of THATlou: you arrive early enough in the day and Daisy tells you about a lesser-known entrance that got us into the museum in less than 20 minutes.

This was the hardest-to-find piece of art that we chose to find. It took us almost 20 minutes, but we found it, darnit!

This guy wasn't on our scavenger hunt, but I just had to snap a picture of that dapper face and sessy thighs.

If a visit to Paris is on your radar, you have to book a scavenger hunt with Daisy at THATlou. It was extremely well organized, a ton of fun, and helped me mark a big item off my must-do-in-Paris list without feeling stressed out.


Vicariously yours,

You would NEVER see this in Disney!

This year, the Mister and I celebrated Christmas Day in the happiest place on Earth.  ...Ok, maybe it was like the second...or third happiest place on Earth: Disneyland Paris.

Those who know us already know that we LOVE the mouse. We spent our 5th wedding anniversary in DisneyWorld in Orlando and I fully intend to make that a regular tradition. So when our friend Lindsey suggested we spend Christmas break in Paris and go to Europe's version of Disney on Christmas Day, there was no way we could refuse (well, that offer combined with the super cheap airfare to Paris certainly helped to persuade us!).

Lindsey's friend Andrea, who lives in Switzerland, met up with us and we were able to introduce her to the Mouse for the first time! Thankfully she is an exceedingly patient person because the WHOLE day was filled with Lindsey, the Mister, and me saying, "You would NEVER see this in Disney!" (I'm not sure why we decided Disneyland Paris wasn't really Disney. But "Disney" became our shorthand for "DisneyWorld Park and Resort in Orlando")

The fact that she, as a fully grown woman, bought light up Mickey ears proved that her conversation to the love of all things Mouse was complete.

Don't get me wrong: We still had a REALLY great time! There is definitely still a heaping helping of Disney magic in Paris's park. But it's the little things that Disney does in Orlando that adds up to the total "Most magical place on Earth" package. Paris just didn't have those little things.

First of all there was lots of trash all around the park. Lots of the litter was probably due to the sanitation workers who were on strike...



... but the whole grounds just felt kinda worn out and dirty. There was mold growing on the canvas covering-made-to-look-like-a-ship's-sail that covered the line to Pirates of the Caribbean. And not intentional, painted-on mold like they would have at Disney! The paint was worn off of the handles on rides or parts of the statues. You would never see that at Disney. That's part of the magic! You miss the trashcan in Disney and before you can pick it up, a Cast Member is there already sweeping it up! Everything looks like it was newly constructed! There are no worn-off paint patches! They magically don't appear in the first place!

At one point we were standing in a walk-through version of Skull Island from Peter Pan (also not something you would see in Disney, but in a good way), and there was a candy apple that has been thrown at the wall and had stuck and had been left there! You would NEVER see that in Disney!

You can't really see the candy apple, but it's there!

Secondly, all the Cast Members were really grumpy and out of character! One of the magical parts of Disney is how everyone who works there is almost creepily happy! Or if they're grumpy and hate their jobs (Disney isn't exactly known to always be the happiest place on Earth to work), they don't show it. And they all seem to magically appear from somewhere. You don't see cast members clocking in for their shifts, or putting their purses under the hostess stand at the restaurant, but we saw both of those things in Disneyland Paris.

Even the characters during the (very short) Christmas parade seemed a little lackluster. Don't get me wrong, the Face Characters (the ones like Tinkerbell in the photo above) were in character the whole time and were great. But Mr. Incredible just kind of deadpanned his whole Segway ride down Main Street. He looked fake. The magic of Disney is that even though you know Mr. Incredible is just some college-age dude sweating his brains out under all that padding, he still looks like he just popped out of the movie screen and is RIDICULOUSLY happy to see you!

Oh. Hey. You again.

And thirdly, some of the rides seemed less than magically done! For example, in A Small World, the ceiling is just a straight up, warehouse-looking, drop ceiling!

You would NEVER see that in Disney! Maybe the old Small World looked that sloppy, but the new small world has a draped ceiling or it is so dark up there that you can't tell that you're just riding a water trail through a giant sound stage. THAT'S THE MAGIC OF DISNEY! In Paris's version of Pirates of the Caribbean (which hasn't been updated but was still really cool and a lot longer of a ride than the one in Orlando), they miss a huge opportunity for magic by not putting LED lights in the ceiling to make it look like a night sky. It is quite obviously a drop ceiling that is painted black. Where's the magic in that?!

Luckily there was just enough cool stuff that Disney doesn't have that made our two visits to Europe's land of the Mouse totally worth it and awesome.

I haven't been to Orlando at Christmas time, so I can only imagine the decorations are even cooler than the really cool ones they had in Paris. 

Their Main Street is a lot shorter, which made it less stimulating and stressful.

The characters on Star Tours speak in French!

Their version of Space Mountain was AWESOME and a LOT better than the one in Orlando.

They have a really cool Alice in Wonderland labyrinth to walk through. Our Alice loving friend Lindsey was in heaven! 

I hate to admit it, but I liked Sleeping  Beauty's castle a lot more than Cinderella's in Orlando. It seemed bigger and had more attention to detail (there was a window where you could see the flicker of a fire burning in the fireplace!). 

I know this post makes it sound like the opposite, but we really did have a great time spending Christmas with the Mouse. If you're in Paris and have a day (and a fair amount of money...it is Disney after all) to kill, I recommend you take the train ride out to Disneyland Paris and give it a whirl.

Vicariously yours,