Sad panda is sad.
I won't bog us down by going into why I was so miserable too much. That's really not important. As a teacher, long stretches without a break are difficult enough, but it's a lot harder far aways from home. But ultimately, I was doing a lot of nothing and wishing I was somewhere else. As you can imagine, that's not exactly uplifting.
As I often do when I'm grumpy and homesick, I called (skyped, gchatted, whatever) my sister. I am blessed with two siblings that happen to be my best friends and life is more difficult not being able to get in touch with them whenever I want...but ANYWHO...I began Whinestock '11 and was really getting into the pitypalooza I was throwing. My sister, of course, was having none of it:
"I just can't do anything like what I did at home!"
"Welp...you need to find something new to do then."
Curse you and your demon logic, woman!
After Whinestock '11 got rained out by tropical storm Sister, I proceeded to think about what I had been doing this whole time. A few things came to mind...primarily eating, sleeping, watching TV, and playing video games. I realized that not only was I boring myself to death, but I had almost no energy and didn't sleep very well...which translated to having no patience at school...which translated to bad teaching days...which made me grumpy and perpetuated the cycle. So it was time to make some changes...
Before I look like this guy...(Bahahaha at this)
So I cut some stuff out of my diet (or at least I'm keeping them to a minimum) and I'm actually doing something active every day for an hour. I'm also reading a little bit everyday. I'm pretty impressed at how well I'm keeping up on all this stuff. I normally set up a goal for like 2 days and then quit. But it's been (one week since you looked at me...) about 10 days and I'm still going strong. I have more energy at school, I feel better in general, and I am actually getting stuff done that I want to do. I still have time to watch TV and play video games, but I make sure it's not the only thing I do.
So who cares? Well, this is something that I realize about myself everytime I move somewhere strange and new. I have to hate it first. It was that way in Kuwait. It was that way in Georgia. It is that way in KSA. But the reason is because I'm so focused backwards. I think about home and only home, and never really put myself where I am. I keep thinking this is a temporary thing. I mean sure we're not gonna live in Saudi forever, but we're here now. This is where we live and this is what we're doing for at least two years.
In the end, I was miserable here because I didn't have a life. I sat around and wished I was back in Nashville, which only made me sad and grumpy. I realized today that a life was really what I needed. Now that I've got one, I can stop whining and actually enjoy myself. So pass the shawarma and let's do this thang.
Vicariously yours,
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