Only in the Middle East

The laminator at my school is broken. Has been for three years. It may come as a surprise but I'm a tad picky about the appearance of my classroom and I hate wasting time making posters every year, so I like to laminate EVERYTHING so I don't have to reinvent the wheel. So last year nearly killed me because I didn't get to really set up my classroom the way I wanted because NOTHING WAS LAMINATED!

So I'm determined not to repeat history this year. No sir. If I have to go out and find a copy center that can do the laminating for me, by God I'm gonna do it! Which brings me today's story.

I'd been told there was a copy shop not far from our school and they could laminate my posters. The thing about Kuwait is the roads don't have names, so when you're told about a copy shop not far from your school, that's pretty much all the details you get. I was able to scrounge up the following information:

• It was on the street behind one of the big malls nearby.
• Directly across from the Marks and Spencer.
• In a little strip mall/souq-esque kind of row of shops.

That's all. I had the name of a street, the name of a shop, and I knew what the logo looked like.

So off I went today on my mission. I couldn't find it as I stood on the sidewalk directly across the street from the Marks and Spencer, and when I stopped a few people to see if they could shed some light, they either didn't speak enough English or they directed me to the FedEx/Kinkos, which I had already tried with no luck.

So I wandered into an optical store that sold prescription sunglasses and other eyeware. There was a Filipino lady behind the counter and a Pakistani man sitting in the back corner. I figured between the two of them, someone had to know the place I was talking about. Here's how that conversation went:

Me: Hi, I'm looking for a copy shop that is somewhere nearby?

Lady: A what?

Me: A copy shop? It's called Kwik Kopy? They make photocopies of things [pantomimes hand going over paper in an ill fated attempt to recreate the act of Xeroxing.]

Man in the corner: What is it called?

Me: Kwik Kopy [pantomimes hand motion over head that is supposed to resemble a business marquee, but just comes off as poorly timed jazz hands]

Man: Oh. They went out of business.

Me: ...

Man: What do you need? You need copies?

Me: No, I'm looking for somewhere that can laminate some posters.

Man: Oh! We do that [stands up and walks behind the counter.]

Me: Oh! That's gr--here?! [looks around at all the displays of designer eye glasses]

Man: No, my other business.

Me: Oh! ...wow! Where is that shop?

Man: Downtown, but I can have my man take your things to the shop for you and you can get it back tomorrow.

So there you have it! A perfect example of how things work in the Middle East! Sometimes you walk into an eye glass store and find a guy who can laminate your classroom posters for you! And you can even haggle him down on the price while you're at it.

Hey man, if it gets my posters laminated, I'll take it!

Vicariously yours,

The Down Side

In May, my uncle Bill died. It was completely unexpected and we were all shocked by the loss. My uncle Bill wasn't related to my parents and wasn't married to a relative. He and my aunt Becky were the family we chose. Close friends of my parents who love us like their own. I used to go to Thanksgiving dinner at their house when I was in college. I would stay up till 4 in the morning with Bill rehashing every. single. detail of what had happened in my life during the year since my last visit, my sides in stitches as he made his running commentary on all my stories. He made everyone laugh; he was always the life of every party he was invited to (and even some he wasn't!).

The phone call I got that day in May is the worst down side that the mister and I can think of with regards to living overseas. We have no control over family emergencies, but being overseas means we don't get to call out of work and take a long weekend to be with our loved ones. My throat still gets tight when I think about how I missed getting to hug my aunt Becky and lend a supportive hand when everyone was in town for the memorial service and then again for her daughter's wedding two weeks later. There's something to be said for being able to hold each other while you cry it out. Phone calls and FaceTime just don't cut it, and I am nagged by the feeling that my visit this summer was a case of too little too late. "I wish I could have been here..." just sounds so selfish.

The fear of unexpected deaths and family emergencies is enough to cripple some dreams of living abroad. The Mister and I knew the risks when we signed up for this gig. We talked a big talk about "Making sure everyone knows we love them" and laid out the pros and cons to friends who asked, "But aren't you worried that..." It was all so easy.

Until I got The Call.

And here I sit, on pins and needles because The Call is coming again, only this time I've been warned. My aunt Jackie, who has fought bravely against stomach cancer for almost a year, is losing the fight. Everyone in my family is pouring into my mom's hometown to say their goodbyes and hug her one last time.

Everyone except me.

I can't decide which is worse: knowing The Call is coming, thereby prolonging the guilt, or being surprised and experiencing a heart wrenching sense of loss.

Here is what I have decided:

• I hate Facebook right now. Facebook is always a frenemy to expats. We are looking through the windows of friends who have had babies and are the strangers who comment "What a beautiful bundle of joy" instead of visiting in the hospital. We like the connected-ness, but at a time like this my biggest fear is signing in and finding out that my aunt has passed and no one remembered to call me.
• I can't handle the sudden waves of guilt I'm hit with at random times throughout the day. My last conversation with my aunt this summer was rushed and trite. I was cheesy and casual. There are things I want to say and I probably never will and I have no idea how to deal with that.
• The Mister is absolutely, beyond a doubt, the best partner I could have. He understands that cooking dinner gives me time to think, which means I'm usually crying and it's not because of the onions. He knows to just hug me and let me wipe my nose on his shirt. He knows nothing can make it better right now, so he simply tells me he loves me and doesn't ask "Is there anything I can do?" He has helped me start the grieving process even though my aunt hasn't passed yet because he knows there's not a plane that can get me home in time to grieve with the people I most want to be with. 
• This is absolutely, beyond a doubt, the worst part of living overseas. It's the only down side, but it is a doozy. 

Vicariously yours,

Another Summer in the Books

I know, I know...It's been FOREVER! I apologize for the lengthy silence. We have been busy busy busy with summer travel and visiting all our loved ones. We decided to stay in Kuwait a few days after the mass exodus that tends to happen as soon as teachers are released for the summer. We took a little while to relax, do some laundry, and not be in a rush for once. Then we went home and put in as many miles as possible visiting grandparents, siblings, and family. Here's a quick overview of all we did this summer:

• We installed a new shelf in our kitchen! This is very exciting, especially when you have a little storage as we do!
• We visited my sister and brother-in-law in Boston and got to visit briefly with one of my best friends in her husband! My sister is pregnant, and due in November, so this was my one time to see the bump before I see the baby next year! 
• We stopped in and had a quick meal-slash-night-of-revelry in DC with the Mister's sister and many of our close friends.
• My in-laws hosted a fantastic cookout to celebrate our return to the States and even flew in my sister-in-law and a close family friend who we love dearly.
• We played hours and hours of the Ellen DeGeneres game called "Heads Up" (available on iTunes) with family and laughed until our sides hurt.
• I got a tattoo of the state of Tennessee and the state flag on the inside of my right arm.
• We went to Tyler's family reunion in LA (lower Alabama).
• I got my annual hair cut (Thanks, Courtney!)
• Our friend Austin visited from Minnesota and we introduced him to the magical land of Dollywood. We also took him honky tonking and on a Jack Daniels Distillery tour. You know, all the best Tennessee has to offer.
• We celebrated 5 years of marriage in the happiest place on Earth with our favorite groomsman on Earth. Our friend Matt met up with us in Orlando and with dined with Mickey and drank around the world at Epcot. I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate.
• Then it was off to South Carolina to visit with my grandparents and  my aunt Jackie who has been bravely fighting cancer for almost a year.
• After that we went to visit my aunt Becky in the Lowcountry of South Carolina and it was wonderful to be back in the land of Spanish moss, flat marshlands, and some of my favorite people! 
• A quick stopover in Atlanta allowed us to visit with my brother who was recently added to CNN's full time photo editing roster (no big deal, he's just awesomer than your brother).
• Back to Tennessee for a few days to pack up for Kuwait and prepare a carry on that would take us to...
• Hilton Head Island for a beach vacation with my parents. What a perfect way to send off from the States...
• until we were delayed leaving the island, had to spend the night in Charlotte, returned to Nashville for 4 hours before starting our enormously long journey back to the land of sand.

Whew! Are we tired! Thankfully we compiled a video of all these highlights and more. We used the 1 Second Everyday app (the same one that we used for our spring break video). It's pretty entertaining, if I do say so myself.

Watch closely! It's a fast one!




Vicariously yours,

No One Wants to Play School with Me!

It's getting to be that time of year. We've reached the last few weeks of school and final tests are being administered, projects are being submitted, and end-of-the-year paperwork needs to be organized. This past week was REALLY overwhelming with all those responsibilities on top of every day life that just refuses to take a break during the busy times. I had several days where I thought, "If I could just have another couple sets of hands, I could get all of this done so quickly!"

At home, this would be the time of year that I would put out a call to see if I could sucker any friends into playing Teacher for a day. There's always at least one. People who don't teach think it's so much fun to grade tests! Rifling through filing cabinets and throwing out old worksheets or dusting off classroom bookshelves seems to be like a fun session of make-believe for those who don't have to do it every day. And I willingly gave my friends the opportunity to hearken back to the old days of pretend at our dining room tables when we used to drill our stuffed animals on the i-before-e rule. (Admit it. We all did it.)

But HERE! Here all my friends ARE teachers! They all have their own classrooms to organize, tests to grade. It's a real jerk move for me to whine and say, "I have so much to do, would you mind helping me grade these tests really quickly?"

Ain't nobody got time for that!

I guess this is one teensy weensy downside to living overseas in a teacher expat community.

Vicariously yours,

So much money and time on their hands, it's dangerous

I worked at an low-income urban public school in Nashville. I didn't realize it at the time, but I absolutely loved it. I miss working in MNPS (words I NEVER thought I'd say) the longer we are away. Working in this VERY high income, for-profit, private international schools has been a little bit of a shock to my system.

I sound like I don't enjoy my international students, but I do. They have their own unique charms, just like my kids back home did. But I think the most shocking part of working with such affluence is the crap these kids bring to school!

The other day I confiscated a laser pointer. Classic goods in a middle school. But this is like an industrial strength, retina damaging kind of laser pointer. It hurts looking at the little dot as we giggle at our Kitty frantically running around the house chasing her newest green foe.

If you look closely, you can actually SEE the laser beam!

WHAT DOES A MIDDLE SCHOOLER NEED WITH A LASER POINTER THIS STRONG?!

What does ANYBODY need with a laser pointer this strong outside of military service!? This laser could seriously cause some damage. To see how strong it was, the Mister shined the laser through our window and across the highway AND WE COULD STILL SEE THE LASER DOT! The kid I took it from was flabbergasted when I told him he wasn't getting it back till the end of the school year. But I'm sure I'll probably see him with another one later next week. Because that's been the common theme among our students here in Kuwait: if they want it, they'll get it.

One of the more shocking desires that many of the kids at my current school have had indulged is the yearning for an exotic pet. Students have lions, cheetahs, and rare breeds that are smuggled in from who knows where. It's disgusting, and most of my kids are really confused as to why their crazy American teachers are so upset by their pet choices.

I shamelessly stole this from a colleague's facebook feed. It's  a cheetah that has been left in someone's car while they go in to a mall for an evening stroll, I'm sure.

What baby wants, baby gets.

Very different from my kids at home. But it certainly makes for some very entertaining times. Especially for the Kitty.



Vicariously yours,

Another airbnb success!

I think the house we stayed in on Koh Lanta in Thailand was one of the best finds we've experienced since we started using the website a few years ago.



Y'all. This house. was. AWESOME!

It was a pole house, which means most of the house was on stilts that went out into the water. When the tide was in, we could hear the little waves lapping up against the foundation. The living room and kitchen were open to the water, and we could open the windows on the side of the kitchen to get a great breeze. It was pretty darn steamy during the day, but we didn't mind! We just went out into the living room and enjoyed the sea breeze. Susanna, the owner, left us a set of speakers so we could listen to our music while we lounged.

Most of the time we were in the house, the tide was high, so we got a view like this one. This is the neighbor's longtail boat. I never saw it in use, so perhaps it was being used as a sort of floating storage unit?

This is what the pole houses look like at low tide. Not terribly beautiful, but low tide was mostly during the day while we were there, so we didn't get this view very often. When we tide was out, it did get hotter in the house, but in those cases, we simply retreated to the TV room, which had concrete walls, tile floors, and air conditioning. Perfect!

The only complaint I had about this house was the mosquitoes, but I am always bug bait, no matter where I go. Susanna provided us with some citronella coils that helped keep the biters away.

Thanks, airbnb!

Vicariously yours,

The Airline Spectrum of Service

You're going to make fun of me for writing about this as the first detailed post about spring break, but we spent a lot of time in transit on this trip, which means the airlines we experienced had a close correlation to how much we enjoyed those days.

So let me say this, fellow travellers: If you get the chance to fly Bangkok Airways, DO IT! We had great service from them on our domestic flights to and from Krabi and they have perfected the art of the layover.

We got to Bangkok and had a 4 hour wait before our next flight to Krabi International, so we checked in and found out that Bangkok Airways has a free lounge for ALL their passengers, not just the hoity-toity business class ones (there's a nicer, more exclusive one for the hoity-toities, don't worry)!! The lounge had comfortable chairs, including chaise lounges for those who wanted to nap.

and nap many of us did!

There was free food, and the best part: FREE UNLIMITED WIFI!  (which you can see the Mister and Matt enjoying in the second clip of the video on the previous post)

I thought this might only be a Bangkok airport-only thing, but NO! We got the same treatment at the Koh Samui airport (which is owned and operated by Bangkok Airways).

It's the kind of airport that doesn't have jetways to the terminal. Instead you have to ride this DisneyWorld-like tram thing to the terminal where you are greeted by THIS:

That's a gate waiting area

Y'all already know how much I loves me some DisneyWorld, so the tram ride alone would have been enough to win me over. But then I walked into this cabana haven and I was really sad that we only had a 30 minute stop-over to enjoy this beautiful airport!

On the other hand, we had the pleasure (used ironically) of flying to and from Kuwait on Sri Lankan airlines. Things started off humorous enough. Their flight safety video was one of the more entertaining ones I've seen. It was littered with computer animated characters that represented the many ethnic backgrounds of Sri Lankan's typical customers.

Yes, that was a grandmotherly lady stowing her Sri Lankan drums in the space under the seat in front of her. I was disappointed there wasn't actually someone like that on our flights.

But the flight attendants were not terribly attentive, one of them even decided for me that I would eat the chicken for dinner and that the Mister would have orange juice with his meal. The in-flight entertainment was lackluster, and on one flight the entire crew seemed to have been extremely upset to have to deal with any part of their jobs. All very small issues, I know. We arrived safely each time, with very little turbulence and the takes off and landings were smooth. But after having a taste of Bangkok Airways, I was really sad to have to fly back home on Sri Lankan and their grumpy attendants.

Vicariously yours,