Spoiler alert: This post is about toilet water

This post is dedicated to my hilarious friend Kimmie. Read her blog and become addicted.

With this blog, the Mister and I try to reveal what life is like in Saudi Arabia, but you won't find political observations and religious epiphanies here. There are plenty of other places to find such commentary. No, we want to tell you what really makes Saudi different, from an expat's perspective.

Thus, I feel it is my mission, nay my obligation to share this little nugget of information with you: The toilet water has gotten ridiculously hot. Seriously. It's out of control.

I've mentioned before (here and here) that the "cold" water tank is located outside, which means there is no such thing as cold water in a Saudi summer. I never thought this would also translate to our toilet water.

Don't get freaked out, I'm not drinking the toilet water or taking temperature data for some sort of disgusting research--the boredom hasn't gotten that bad yet. The reason I know the toilet water has reached the desired temperature of a hot bath is because when you lift the lid in the morning, it's like opening a sauna. Your face is washed with a cloud of steam, and the seat is covered in beads of lukewarm toilet sweat. It's vile.

"But Amber, why don't you just leave the lid up all the time?"

You're so smart! We also thought of that possible solution, and it does take care of the toilet-seat-turned-slip-and-slide issue. However, being a girl, I still get the pleasure of a butt steam bath every time I sit down to take care of business...and that's every time I take care of business. Plus, if we leave the lid up all the time, our bathroom becomes a steam room of toilet nastiness. We don't have an air conditioner in the bathroom, just a little window, and opening that means we'll be adding dust into the mix. Butt mud bath, anyone? Sick.

At first I thought this was just a quirk of our house. We do, after all, have walls that randomly fall off and plugs of various voltages throughout. But then I went to the restroom while visiting someone on a compound across town and had the same humid experience there!

I know this post is a little crass. It's certainly not revealing the lovely side of life. And I know those of you who don't know me personally must think I'm some bathroom obsessed weirdo American in Saudi Arabia--this is my second post on my lavatory lamentations in as many months. But give me a little credit, people! Next to eating, going to the bathroom is the only thing that is done consistently in EVERY PART OF THE WORLD! It's my duty (pun TOTALLY intended) to report to everyone out there what we're really experiencing, in all facets of life!

Vicariously yours,